MOTHERS DAY: Being an ‘Eczema Mum’…

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March the 15th, MOTHER’S DAY! A day for all those Mum’s out there to be reminded of how very special they are and a chance for all of us ‘children’ to rectify all those times that we maybe didn’t appreciate them as much as we should have. I have to admit that throughout the 25 years of being on this earth I certainly take full advantage of having a day where I can be a soppy so and so and tell my mum how very much I love her.
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I’m not a mother myself, but I can imagine motherhood must be as difficult as it is rewarding, especially when having a child suffering from any physical or mental disorder.
I applaud anyone looking after someone suffering with severe eczema because it’s just as hard for them as it is for us itchy lot.
Growing up is hard enough: puberty, homework, grazed knees, school girl fall outs, not looking old enough to get into that 15 rated film all your friends are going to see without having to deal with eczema as well!
When growing up I found that having a skin condition that changed my physical appearance was extremely difficult. I hated myself and thought I was ugly so when Mum used to make comments like “Maybe we should have a look at how to cover it up” I used to get angry at her. I thought she was confirming the very thing I’d spent most of my time worrying about… being ugly! I thought she was ashamed to go out and about with me because of the way I looked which is silly because the only person thinking it was disgusting and being ashamed to go out was me. It’s only now that I’m an adult doing adult things and living an adult life that I realise that all of those comments she made was because she cared. She wasn’t bothered about the way the eczema looked, she was just bothered about how sad it made me.
As I’m not a mum myself, I thought I’d ask my mum exactly what it was like having a child growing up with severe eczema and share her answers with you guys.
 What was the most difficult part of having a child growing up with severe eczema?
“Seeing you suffer. The worst time was when you started to go to University. When you were little, I could cradle you as you cried yourself to sleep but as you got older I felt like I couldn’t do as much. I found you a really angry person. When I used to try and stop you from scratching you used to fly off the handle and take your frustration out on me. I was like your verbal punch bag. That hardest thing was taking you down the doctors and specifically requesting they transfer you to a specialist but being constantly turned away with stronger steroid creams as the only solution. We were told it was incurable and I felt as though every time I tried to help you just pushed me away telling me I was just making it worse and that as a parent was really difficult to hear. I just didn’t really know where to turn. It was hard but you just have no choice other than to carry on and do your best to be ‘mum’.”
What is the hardest part of having that child be an adult and going through TSW?
“Not living with you. Being over an hour away is hard because I can’t look after you and do the simple things like accompany you to the doctors. I can’t sort out your washing when your hands are bad and cook you nice healthy meals. I can’t check you’re eating properly and you’re taking all your medication that you’re supposed to be taking at the right times of the day. Having to see your progress on your blog and not in person is really difficult. Hearing you cry down the phone and not being able to give you a hug and tell you you’re beautiful makes me feel helpless. Thank goodness for social media. At least we can speak every day and keep in touch constantly. I’m just happy that now you’ve grown up you aren’t angry with me anymore and you actually let me be a part of your journey back to health. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve achieved.”
I love my mum with all my heart and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. I have utter respect for all of you having to deal with our angry, unhappy selves, and having to watch someone you love suffer every day.
All you mum’s are incredible and although sometimes we don’t show it, we really do appreciate everything you do!
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One thought on “MOTHERS DAY: Being an ‘Eczema Mum’…”

  1. Nodding at every sentence…it’s both good and bad… good that someone has a real understanding (of both suffering and caring) and bad that we are not alone in the experience.

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